Dad joke

In honor of Fathers' Day, I recount a joke my father told me.  Or rather, he told it in my presence, along with my brother and probably my mother although I don't remember for sure.  Certainly, she had heard it before but also likely wanted to see our (my brother's and my) reactions.  I don't really know any of that.  What I do know is that the joke telling took place in our house in Queens so I would have been older than 5 and no older than 8.  I thought it was hilarious.  Or at least I think now that I thought it was hilarious then.  It's the sort of joke the old man liked to tell - long lead up, dopey punchline.  Think: Siberian Peach Pie.  This one had the extra value of being a tribal inside joke.  And I was in on it!

A Jewish scientist, Herschel Zorkender, was to be knighted for his many contributions to science and to the Royal Academy.  It's a big deal.  The Palace sent over a protocol officer, Lord Albemarle,  to walk Dr. Zorkender through the process and make sure there would be no screw-ups [yes, my Dad would have said "screw-ups"].

"When you enter the chamber, you will bow before stepping into the room."
"Right."
"Keep your eyes lowered as you approach Her Majesty, who will be seated on a raised platform."
"Quite right, yes."
"When you get to the base of the platform you will kneel on your right knee with your left foot no more than six inches in front of your left knee."
"Very well, I shall practice that to make sure I get it right."
"Her Majesty will stand and tap you on the shoulder with her sword.  She will say, 'Arise Sir Herschel'."
"Tap on the shoulder, 'Arise Sir Herschel'.  You know I'm a scientist right?  I think I can do this."
"We'll see.  You will stand, place your right hand over your heart and say, 'reginus empress fidelis'."
"reginus empress fidelis, reginus empress fidelis, OK."
"You must never turn your back on the Queen.  You will back slowly away until you reach the door where two footmen will escort you from the presence."
"OK.  Thank you for your help.  I will be ready."

For the next week Dr. Zorkender practiced kneeling and saying "reginus empress fidelis".  He thought he had it all perfectly memorized but on the day of the ceremony he was so nervous he was shaking and stuttering.  When the Queen tapped him with her sword, he completely forgot what he was supposed to say.  The only thing he could think of was "ma nishtanah halailah hazeh".

The Queen turned to Albemarle and asked: "why is this knight different from all other knights?"

Happy Fathers' Day.